!Viva Backpage!

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So I apologize for not explaining earlier why Brazil Backage surpassed German Craigslist as my new favorite dating site. That was a little mean, I’ll admit it. I definitely left you hanging. One Dating Daze reader even accused me of being ’sans amour’. The other reader hasn’t said anything yet though, so I feel okay about it. You can’t please everybody you know.

Here are the reasons why  Backpage > Craigslist:

1. I encountered 2 Backpage Brazilians in one week. Yes 2. 2 separate, but equally beautiful in their own right Brazilians during my own personal Carnaval. There were Brazilian men from Backpage coming out of the woodworks. Who wouldn’t change their vote? I should find out how to do that officially too. Change votes I mean. I bet Jeb Bush could give me some pointers from when he had that little “Florida problem”.

2. I just re-saw a German guy at Trader Joe’s that I met in a bar a month ago and had to re-live our long boring bar conversation in my mind. Thankfully, I wasn’t as ‘gussied up’ as I had been that first time, and he looked me dead in the face without recognizing me. Fine by me. I even consider it a ‘blessing in the skies’, as my Mexican boyfriend used to think the saying ‘blessing in disguise’ went. Which I though was cute at first, but then when things were going downhill I was the first person to point out the mistake. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about! It’s ‘in disguise’, not ‘in the skies’!!!!!!!!!!! Get it straight.”

3. When you think of Brazil, you think of beautiful tanned men running around playing soccer all day. Or at least that’s what I think of. I imagine that even the bad-looking Brazilians look pretty good. ‘Not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good!’, to use a RunDMC-ism. But when you think of Germany? Not so much.

4. In Brazil they love to kiss. And in Germany they love to be boring and have long torturous bar coversations where they complain about how Americans don’t know how to make drinks properly. (There, there. Stop thinking about it Cherie, it’s over, it’s over.) I met one of the Brazilians at the Sky Bar, where I learned this fascinating cultural fact about Brazil and kissing first-hand. The Sky Bar Brazilian from Backpage told me that kissing is huge in Brazil, but that here in America girls will sleep with you before they’ll genuinely kiss you. So me not wanting to be that stereotypical culturally insensitive American, I went ahead and kissed him. I did it for my country. The red white and the blue. You’re welcome. It was my pleasure to serve the US and A in that respect.

5. I met the other Brazilian guy from Backpage in my yoga class. That’s 50 bonus points right there. There was a substitute teacher that night and I was going to leave, but then he set up his mat right in front of me and I had to stay. He was BEAUTIFUL. My jaw dropped. 6′4″. Dark Skin. Light Green Eyes. Doing Yoga. I know, I know, looks are only skin deep. But still. How happy would I be if my man just happened to be a beautiful Brazilian 6′4″ dark-skinded light green eyed yoga man? I would be introducing him to complete strangers with a huge smile on my face. “Hi, I’m Cherie Amour, and THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!” He accidentally touched me during the class, and then when we were walking to our cars afterward he apologized profusely in a beautiful Portuguese accent. Not in a guttural German talking way.

So you see, there’s really no comparison. Brazil wins every time. Hands down. Like Celia Cruz said, “Life is a Carnaval”.  Celia did make mistakes every now and then, like when he she said “my English is not very good looking”, but let’s think she’s correct this time. Let’s be positive. Because we all know about The Power of Positive Thinking“.

Cities For Backpage Dating 

Milford

Manchester

Nashua

Dover

Rochester

Portsmouth

Keene

Laconia

Derry

Hanover

New Hampshire

Plymouth

Salem

What is it about a bad boy? You know who I’m talking about. The guy you ditch high school with who pushes you up against the side of the school and really kisses you like the nice guy who helps you with your math homework will never do. Even though you kind of like him too in an “intellectual way”. Just to use a random example.

Take the Sopranos. I’ve been obsessed, and I do mean obsessed, with the Sopranos ever since the show started. I even throw Sopranos parties and rent a couple of overweight Italian kids to run around shoving cannolis in their mouths to make the nights more realistic. I’ve always been a big fan of the Godfathers, the Goodfellas, and the you-name its, but the Sopranos takes the cake. I was able to watch last night’s episode on an enormous 72” television too. And I hate to perpetuate stereotypes, but sometimes bigger really is better.

In last night’s episode, Tony got into a fistfight with his brother-in- law and lost. Carmela saw the whole thing, and the next day she told him he was acting like a baby when he kept insisting he had been at an unfair disadvantage. Then Tony made a comment that back in high school she had seen him win a fight and liked it. His argument was that women always want the toughest backpage guy. Carmela brushed it off in the usual healthy, non-violent way that the Soprano family relates to one another, but later on she proved his point by telling her sister in-law that Tony would have definitely won had he not been sucker punched.

I think Tony’s on to something , even though I’m sure many a feminist and a backpage womyn would disagree. I would say most women do have that desire to feel safe and protected, whether we admit it consciously or not. It’s nothing to run from guys. And by guys I mean girls. It’s evolution. Survival of the fittest.

My friend Cynthia’s older brother is a bad boy. An undercover cop. One of LA’s finest, that’s for sure. The fact that he’s undercover makes him even more attractive because he has to be mysterious; the very nature of his position requires it. Right Mr. Occifer? You’re just doing your job. Serving and protecting.

Cynthia’s brother is sooo hot, but I’ve always been a little hesitant about going there. Cynthia and I are such good friends that I think he knows too much about my past. You see, Big Brothers, (like Cynthia’s and like Google), always know all the intimate details of your life whether you like it or not. There’s not much you can do to stop them either.

Now I know in my heart of hearts that when I’m looking for the guy to be my husband, I’m not going to want a bad boy. Of course then I’ll want qualities like love, trust, dependability and all that stuff. Things bad boys can never provide, since you never quite know where you stand with them.

Maybe that’s actually their allure too. I think I’ve just figured out their secret ingredient. Their “special sauce”. We can never really have have them. And that’s why we always want want them. We should just accept it too. They’re bad boys. And with bad boys, what chu gonna do.

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